 Yay....
 @ahoneybun the fix is "rm -rf; reboot"
 Try to reboot.
 The fix was not upgrading to 18.04.
 Probably need to apt install php and Apache module php, then enable php in a2enmod
 Pretty sure I didn't remove anything.
 But yea most likely.
 They may have removed your version of php from the repo.
 Let me know.  I'm thinking about a dist upgrade soon.
 Within the year.
 Still not fixed. Not sure anymore. Not going to work on it anymore until I get something larger then a phone.
 You have it installed as a snap?
 Pretty sure I didnt.
 I don't remember.
 PM me the root password and I will see what I can do in a bit
 Do you have the IP?
 Isn't it one of mine?
 Oh right.
 I'm confused by all the servers lol.
 All fixed
 Apache thought the php5 module was still installed and enabled. I disabled it in the configuration and reloaded it with php7.2
 Ah thanks!